Queen of Ordinary – Remembers a Photo – January 24, 2014

batch 2  for Mountain Wisdom 164   This photo was taken over 30 years ago.

I look at this photo from my past and I grieve for the young woman in that photo.  I thank God that I’m not in that same place in my life any longer.

I was recently divorced, had an infant son to care for, had  gone back to college to add a teaching certificate to my degree and juggling THREE part time jobs.  I was so wounded and broken up by the divorce that I was emotionally scarred and tattered.  I felt so ugly and rejected, discarded and abandoned that I honestly thought the only reason people spoke to me was because they felt sorry for me, for my ugliness.

Of course, looking at the photo now I realize that there was nothing wrong with me.  I was perfectly ordinary.  I had let someone else’s hateful, cruel words become the vision I had of myself.  I had let the weight of lies crush me, but I never gave up.  I let someone else’s infidelity convince me that I wasn’t worth loving.  BUT I never let go of my faith.  I never quit believing that God loved me, no matter how ugly I felt about myself.

How I thank God for bringing me through that dark time!  I can say for sure that only by the grace of God and through His love did I survive this broken period in my life.

I’m over 30 years older than this photo.  There is more of me, and I don’t look half as good now as I did then, but I have survived, and flourished under the loving hand of God who never left me, never forsook me, and reminds me that being ordinary is a gift.

 

 

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