I look at this photo from my past and I grieve for the young woman in that photo. I thank God that I’m not in that same place in my life any longer.
I was recently divorced, had an infant son to care for, had gone back to college to add a teaching certificate to my degree and juggling THREE part time jobs. I was so wounded and broken up by the divorce that I was emotionally scarred and tattered. I felt so ugly and rejected, discarded and abandoned that I honestly thought the only reason people spoke to me was because they felt sorry for me, for my ugliness.
Of course, looking at the photo now I realize that there was nothing wrong with me. I was perfectly ordinary. I had let someone else’s hateful, cruel words become the vision I had of myself. I had let the weight of lies crush me, but I never gave up. I let someone else’s infidelity convince me that I wasn’t worth loving. BUT I never let go of my faith. I never quit believing that God loved me, no matter how ugly I felt about myself.
How I thank God for bringing me through that dark time! I can say for sure that only by the grace of God and through His love did I survive this broken period in my life.
I’m over 30 years older than this photo. There is more of me, and I don’t look half as good now as I did then, but I have survived, and flourished under the loving hand of God who never left me, never forsook me, and reminds me that being ordinary is a gift.