I’ve been divorced and single for a very long time and am at peace with myself and God about the situation. If God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise, them I am abundantly qualified for God to use my life to confound whomever He chooses. I’ve come to the place where I have the specific joy of being content with whatever God chooses to do or not do in my life. Where so many others have written me off, my attention is on the One who made me, Who shaped me in my mother’s womb, Who set me apart unto Himself.
I haven’t always been this way. If you are single or newly divorced, you will know exactly what I’m talking about. When preachers would say from the pulpit, those of you who are single should embrace your gift of singleness, I would want to smack them. Seriously. I’d feel like shouting, “Don’t preach to me about how wonderful singleness is when you have a fantastic home, career, kids, cars, etc.” It’s easy to tell the “don’t haves” how thankful they should be when you have it all. Someone told me, “Just Jesus – that’s all YOU need.”
Of course they were right – but the time of my life and the tone they used made me fighting mad at them – not at Jesus. If almost becomes a testimonial with some people that they are so blessed because God loves them so much more… and if you don’t have what they have it shows there is a flaw in you, or that you don’t have their faith. Hogwash!
The Apostle Paul said that whatever state we find ourselves in, we should be content. It takes time to learn the truth and the power of that. It is not an easy lesson to embrace.
What I know for sure is that people who are trying to find their other half are looking for heartache. If two incomplete, wounded people come together, they are still going to be wounded and incomplete. That doesn’t mean that God can’t redeem them and complete them, but finding another person is not the solution.
I’m still a lump on the potters wheel, a cracked pot at best, but I am a work in progress. Whatever vessel I become, I will be that vessel independently of any other human being. I don’t need another person to complete me. And I know that I do not have the power to complete anyone else. At best, there is a possibility of two imperfect people who trust in God to compliment each other with their personalities and giftings and become a dynamic team while still retaining their individual identity in God.
I know a lot of single people who are looking for that perfect other half and stay in a perpetual mode of unhappy searching. Also, I know a lot of married people who are miserable, thinking they ended up marrying a person who is not their other half.
Somewhere along the way, I’ve decided to try to be the best ME that I can be, surrender myself into God’s hands to accomplish His purposes in me and through me, and embrace the life that I have as the OPPORTUNITY God has given me. Singleness is a challenge. There is no doubt. However, marriage is also a challenge when people come into it looking for the other person to complete them or be the answer to all of their problems.
If you’ve been looking for your other half, stop it! Start developing your other half. You are not half a person. You are not incomplete because you don’t have a love interest present in your life. If you saw half a person walking down the street toward you, you’d run like crazy in the opposite direction.
Love yourself. Love your life. Let God create in you the person He intended you to be – complete in Him, made whole by His love.